We are living in strange times! Living through a pandemic and being quarantined is definitely not something “normal” to our generation.
This strange time has lead to lots of “togetherness” for families.
I’ve seen many parents posting their exasperation’s to social media.
They are trying to work from home while helping their kids navigate our new schooling situation. Parents have socioeconomic and health worries and they can’t “go” anywhere.
Then, there’s the kids! Their schedule in completely upended which is stressful to most children. Depending on where they live, they may be stuck inside a good amount of the day. They are probably picking up on the worries of the parents which could be putting them on edge. And, if my parenting experience has taught me anything, I’d bet that most siblings sets have resorted to fighting with each other out of sheer boredom.
Kids do that you know, fight for fun because they’re bored.
Or, some of them could be fighting because they’re just sick and tired of each other.
Either way, I’d be willing to bet that most parents with multiple children are dealing with a fair amount of “sibling issues”.
I suspect that most parents are ready to bust at the seems and, if they’re not careful, they could easily lose it on their little bundles of joy.
If you’ve been home with kids you’re probably shaking your head in agreement and wondering what my point is!
So, here it goes.
Did you know that, biblically speaking, parents are ordered not to “exasperate” their children?
Check out Ephesians 6:4
Fathers, do not exasperate your children
Ephesians 6:4a NIV
Consider this passage from LeRoy Bartel
The Greek word to exasperate literally translates “to provoke, to anger” and may imply “goading them into resentment”. In Colossians the challenge was not to “embitter” them or the “will become discouraged” (lose heart or give up; Colossians 3:21). Do not act like you hate your children. Do not goad them, provoke them, or tease them to the point of anger. Wise parents love and encourage their children while at the same time guiding their behavior.
Bartel, LeRoy. Prison Epistles: Colossians, Philemon, Ephesians, and Philippians. 2010
When I read this I thought….whew, that could be a challenge as we live in this enforced closeness.
When I, as a parent, am stressed I have a tendency to be short tempered with my children. This is neither fair nor correct parenting! In fact, it could be exasperating to them because they’re receiving behavior from me that is not based on their behavior!
So often, I, as a parent, expect things that my children are incapable of! I expect them to sit for hours on end doing online work without squirming and complaining.
I expect them to happily wear a face mask when I am griping about wearing one myself.
The best one is that I expect them to get along perfectly with their siblings. If I drew the microscope off of them and looked at myself I might find that I don’t always get along with my husband or children my own self.
How can I expect them to do what I can’t do.
If I expect them to do what I can’t do, how can I help but exasperate them?
When I exasperate my kids by expecting more of them than even I am capable of, I’m not parenting them the way that they Bible directs me to!
I’m causing them stress and exasperation. I might be angering them or even causing them to feel bitterness!
So, today, as we all experience another day of togetherness, may we have compassion on our children.
May we love them and show them Grace, the same grace that Jesus gives to us!
Let’s take a deep breath. Ask ourselves if we’re expecting something “doable” from our kids. Then, lets guide those babies with loving discipline!
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